Archive | June 2014

General drivel.

Nearly the end of June. Wimbledoom has started, Glastonbury has started, so, naturally it’s p*ssing it down and i’ve just put the gas fire on!! (13c)!

😦

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This entry was posted on June 28, 2014. 4 Comments

Joke Tuesday.

Remember those days?

 
It   was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960, and James had a date  with Annabella.

He  arrived at her house and rang the bell.. 

‘Oh,  come on in!’ Annabella’s mother said as she welcomed James. 

‘Have  a seat in the sitting room. Would you like something to  drink? Lemonade?  Tea?’

‘Tea,  please,’ James said. Mum  brought the tea.

‘So, what are you and Annabella planning to do  tonight?’ she asked interestedly.

‘Oh,  probably go to the flicks  and then maybe  grab a bite to eat at the coffee bar, perhaps have a walk  on the beach afterwards.’

‘Annabella  likes to screw, you know,’  Mum informed him.

‘Really?’James gasped, surprised to say the least. 

‘Oh yes,’ mother continued, ‘When she goes out with her friends,  that’s all they do!’

‘Is that so?’ asked James,  incredulously.

‘Oh  yes,’she said.

‘As a matter of fact,she’d screw all night if we let  her!’

‘Phew!  Well, thanks for the tip!’ James  said as he  began thinking about alternative plans for  the evening.

A moment  later, Annabella  came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture,  wearing a pink blouse and a hoop skirt and with her hair tied back in a bouncy  ponytail.

She greeted James..

‘Have fun, kids!’ mother said as  they left.

Half an hour later, a completely dishevelled Annabella  burst into the house and slammed the front door behind  her.

‘The Twist, Mum!’  she yelled angrily to her mother in the kitchen.

‘The  bloody dance is called the ……. Twist!’ 

This entry was posted on June 24, 2014. 3 Comments

Joke Tuesday.

A Testimony to true friendship
A man brings his friend home for dinner unannounced at 5.30 p.m. after work.
His wife screams at him, as his friend listens in,
“My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess,
the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pyjamas, and I can’t be
bothered with cooking tonight!
What the hell did you bring him home for?”

“Because he’s thinking of getting married.”

This entry was posted on June 17, 2014. 3 Comments

Joke Tuesday.

A loving wife…

Husband lies dying, his wife is by his bedside.
He says in a weakened voice “There is something I must confess”.

“Shhhh” said the wife, ” there is nothing to confess”.

She holds his hand and caresses his head. “Everything is all right” she whispers.

“NO!!” the husband replied ” I must die in peace…I had sex with your,sister,

your best friend, her best friend and your best friend’s mum!”

“I know,” she whispered, “That’s why I poisoned you. Now close your eyes.

This entry was posted on June 10, 2014. 5 Comments

Pub news and home news!

The pub was packed today with a party of ramblers, 30 of them. And then, as is the norm, all and sundry walked in too!

I’m back on the desktop for now, anyway so, hopefully the jokes will be back tomorrow!! 😀

This entry was posted on June 9, 2014. 4 Comments

Joke Tuesday.

I’m afraid there wont be a joke today as my computer monitor wont switch on. My friend, who looks after all things technical is on holiday in Spain. Typical isn’t it? Fear not, I’ll be back soon!

This entry was posted on June 3, 2014. 5 Comments